Isolation

Isolation had never been the way Connor did things. He was a manslut, and the life of the party anywhere he went. He liked to drink and dance and fuck and have a good time. It was literally the biggest part of who he was. His own sister had long since given up hope of getting him to settle down anytime soon, and had instead introduced him to all the gorgeous gay guys she knew that were just looking for a good time. Because Connor was a good time, and he knew it. It wasn’t something he was ashamed of.

But in the wake of what had happened before Christmas, Connor had become very good at isolation. If he’d been a sarcastic bitch before, it had doubled now. He closed himself off to everyone, even to his friends. But not to Chase. Chase was the one person he could go to and feel safe. It was nothing like what he’d had before – a mixture of guys who loved that he was a slut and a good lay and left it at that, guys who judged him for being a slut and literally told him he was the kind of person that gave gay guys a bad name, or guys who wanted to tie him down and own him.

Chase was none of those things. He let Connor be Connor, but when Connor needed someone who would fuck the pain away, hold him without holding him down, and let him keep right on being him without trying to change him, that would always, and without fail, be Chase.

"Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still." - Robert Sternberg

Connor had been on really cool trips before. It sort of came with the territory of growing up in a well-to-do family, and he was well used to the perks that came with his parents’ money. It had turned him into every bit the rich cocky bitch, but he had no shame about that. It was what it was, and he was okay with it for the most part. But he’d never gone away on a trip with a guy he was seeing, if only, perhaps, because he wasn’t really in the habit of having guys he was seeing in the first place. But on Christmas Day, Chase had brought up the idea of a trip to Australia for the New Year almost as casually as if he were suggesting ordering out for dinner. It wasn’t like Chase just to assume that was what Connor wanted to do – something that the law student had long since come to appreciate about the doctor. Chase didn’t push Connor. He put things out there, and they discussed them together, figured out what worked for them, which was how they came to even be calling their relationship a relationship in the first place at that, though beyond it being a relationship, they didn’t put many labels on it.

( Labels didn’t really matter to Connor anyway... )



Connor Walsh || How To Get Away With Murder

Chase is trueaussiedoc and is used with love and permission.

Connor didn't date. He didn't date, and he certainly didn't do boyfriends, and when things progressed beyond a casual fuck or a random hookup, it usually scared the fuck out of him. He'd grown a sort of fondness for Oliver at one point, but the truth was, they were ultimately too different, and Connor ultimately felt that he couldn't trust Oliver as much as he needed to trust someone after what had happened. If he were honest, though, he wasn't sure how the fuck he'd come to trust Chase so quickly. Maybe it was the fact that, instead of the clean-as-a-whistle persona that Oliver wore so well, Chase had a thread of darkness about him. A hint of something dangerous that Connor had picked up on right away, and had thrived on and trusted ever since.

So when Chase had asked Connor out to dinner, something that was very much not something he'd usually say yes to, Connor had grudgingly agreed, but not without insisting that they plan on a raunchy quickie in the bathroom of the restaurant, a caveat that Chase was all too willing to agree to. So here they were, zipping their pants in the tiny restroom of the restaurant where Chase had just taken Connor roughly against the wall... just how Connor liked it. Rough and hard. That he understood. Fucking he got... Fucking hard and fast and making each other come, those were the things that made sense. It only got complicated when things like fears, failures, secrets, and dinner began to come into the equation, and they very much had here.

For what seemed like the millionth time, Connor asked himself what he was doing here. And after only a moment or so, he realized it didn't fucking matter. At the moment, it worked, and that was all that mattered to him. With one hand trying to straighten out the front of his smart blue button-down, Connor reached out with the other to grab Chase's collar and pull him close for a very hot kiss. "Let's get back out there before they think you're not intending to buy me dessert and the most expensive dessert wine on the menu," he teased, running his tongue lightly over Chase's lip. "We'll pick this up again in the car."